Kissing Michelle Teoh.

“Hey, how are you? You waited for me long?” Gently, i stroked the soft skin of her cheek with my fingers — taming my yearning desire. Abusively, i might have damaged the Manglish language — making ‘You waited for me long’ sound rather like gibberish.

“No la, not that long,” she raised the corners of her lips and gave me the cutest smile.

“Hihi, sorry if i’m late. Where you wanna makan,” i asked, and i prayed. Oh God, spare me from the grammar Nazis for i am a Malay, and never the people in my country speak perfect English. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

“Anywhere also can.”

Spare both of us.

We soon went to a restaurant to perhaps learn the grammar of casual dining; to maybe discover the happiness in food sharing; to possibly register into our memories of pleasant feelings. On the table, there were barbecued chicken, lasagna, lemon kiwi, mango delight, volcanic chocolate and no secrets. Off the table, there was a classic lie — i actually wanted this girl to be mine. Boleh ke menipu diri yang semacam itu? Bodoh jugak kan Firdauz ni.

“How come your boobs are bigger now? Lots of actions issit?”, the stupidity that i had earlier on had come to reveal its true characters.

“Haha, no la! I also dunno. My friends also said my boobs are bigger now. I’m so happy!”

“Hihi, me too. But you know something ah Michelle, i actually have lost faith in you. You many times Fong Fei Kei me already, say wanna meet me la, but then canceled. Hate you ah,”

“I was busy! Sorry leh.”

I never was a good guy, but i forgave her anyway — but it wasn’t because she deserved it, it wasn’t because i thought she had larger breasts; but it was because she had always been manipulative with her killer smile that butchered and slaughtered any hostility that i thought should have become aggressive if this girl weren’t Michelle.

“Which one you want to ride first. This one or that one?” i pointed to two rides.

“That crazy thing ah, made me feel like dying last time.”

“So, we start from the first ride near the entrance la. You okay with it?”

“Okay,” and she did that cute face again.

If this theme park had provided amusement with its rides, then i think what Michelle had provided me were the transports of delight. It was the cute Michelle who elevated the sensation i had in the middle of my chest to almost meeting the skies, so beautifully. It wasn’t the merry-go-round that shook off all my worries, it wasn’t the safety belt that secured the peace of mind, it wasn’t even the roller coaster that took back the peace and made it go wild and volatile again.

It was the sweetness in the pink cotton candy i shared with Michelle that made me a person, so differently; it was the panic of what she might think of me holding her hands that made me human, so vulnerably; it always was my foolishness that made her an angel, so beautifully.

“Come here,” she was kissing my cheek when i hugged her closer.

And then i gave her another kiss.