Now i know.

I woke up having a mild fever this morning.

I woke up having a friend who cared about me having a fever this morning.

“Ajie, makan soup dulu tau before you go to work,” Hidayah shouted from the kitchen.

“Tak nak la Dayah, dah lambat nak gi kerja. It’s okay,” i replied and remained curling on the couch, my favourite couch — which fabrics i bought when i was out with Ovi, haven’t met Ovi for quite sometime.

I dozed off for a few seconds. My mind didn’t travel anywhere. There wasn’t any aroma rising from the kitchen, i remembered nothing.

“Ajie, tu soup Dayah dah buatkan. Makan tau,” I started to remember things when she made the small dining table look big in purpose — she wanted my fever to go away. Her prayers were a bowl of soup — made with love and 10 years of friendship, a cup of warm plain water, and 2 tablets of paracetamol.

“Kalau nak tambah tau. Dayah masak soup tu untuk Ajie,” she always called me Ajie, never Firdauz, never Firdy, never Firrie, never Baby, although she did call me Sayang at times.

“Takpe, thank you,”

I finished the soup, although i did say thank you to Hidayah, it wasn’t what i really wanted to say to her. I was touched, i felt loved and cared, but i didn’t want to make things too awkward by echoing any of my overemotional sentiments.

Hidayah, you’re a good friend. Now i know why after 10 years we are still friends.