Over the phone.

I was on the phone with a friend, she asked,

“The Malays are muslims right?”

“Uhuh. Constitutionally.” i replied.

“And all muslims go to heaven, and hell is for the the infidels right?

“Uhuh. You’re not bad eh? You know a lot too.”

“Oh well, i got Malay friends. But i’m curious about something. After all the adventurous sex, and all those bah kut teh and wine and beer, what’s your plan to go to heaven? Don’t be a sceptic and tell me hell is so much fun.”

“I don’t believe in heaven and hell.”

“Let’s say you believe in them. And there is God and heaven and hell. What’s your plan then?”

“Easy peasy. When i die, i’ll show Him my I.C.”

***

My friend didn’t laugh and thought that it was a bad joke. So i told her another one,

“So a Pakistani dies and he goes up to the top heaven. He knocks on the gates,”

“Ok,”

“and St. Peter opens the gates and asks the Pakistani, ”What the fuck do you want?’”

“Haha. St. Peter says that?”

“Yes. And the Pakistani replies ‘I’m here for Jesus’.”

“But why Jesus?”

“Shut up and listen to my story. The muslims also believe in Jesus, so this Pakistani is looking for Jesus probably to thank him and kiss on his cheeks, i dunno! But instead, St. Peter looks at the Pakistani, turns around and shouts, ‘Jesus, your cab is here’.”

***

And when she started to laugh, i told another joke,

“There are two conservative Malay sisters, Aminah and Rokiah. They just arrive in the USA. They spot a hot dog vendor. Aminah tells Rokiah, ‘Dia orang makan dogs la dekat sini’. ‘Peliknya!’ says Aminah.”

“Haha. Continue please.”

“Then Aminah tells Rokiah that if they were to live in the USA, they might as well follow their way of living. So the sisters walk towards the hot dog vendor and order two dogs.”

“Then, what happens.”

“You suka potong i cerita kan. Senyap ok. Then the sisters sit on a bench. Aminah is first to unwrap her ‘dog’. When she sees the meat, her cheeks turns pink, and then red, she’s blushing with joy. She leans over to her sister Rokiah, and dengan manjanya she says “Kakak dapat bahagian yang mana?”

***

P/s : Please don’t take jokes too seriously ok. You’ll lose all the fun. =)