Nearly forgotten

“So,” i told myself, “when are you going to quit your job and open up a restaurant, and write a song and a book and dance, dance, dance?”

I’ll be 30 and forever this year. I haven’t lived up to my dreams yet. I haven’t found the answer to what i am and what they all are. I haven’t written a letter to the government — tell them jokes so they can laugh loud and happily, like how i laugh very loud and happily at them, almost daily. I haven’t been to jail, or been locked up fighting for something that belongs only to me.

Personal liberty. Have i fought for you my dear?

Have i really fought for you, my dear?

Ahhh… just one of these days, i’d like to become who i really am.

Then i’ll write a song, and i’ll dance like how i had when i was a lot younger.

***

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(I composed this piece of instrumental 6 years ago, when i was 24. I have sworn to never write anything as sad and as gloomy as this, and i didn’t. )

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(About less than a year later, i recomposed the song — took out the elements of sadness and it had become a psychedelic experience, not that i wanted it to, but things came and arranged themselves the way i usually wouldn’t.)

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(This one, is actually one of my favourites. I composed this in the year when i was still able to dream, and courageously, i would eventually fight for everything i believed in. And then, i sold this instrumental to a local independent artist)

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(This is how it sounds with the vocals after i sold the 3rd track to a local independent artist. His name is Emcee David. The title of this song is Home)

***

Perhaps today or tomorrow, or the day after that, i’ll remember again how it’s like, to write, to dance, to write and to dance.