Archive | February, 2010

Thermodynamics, Evolution and Michelle.

24 Feb

“I’m so tall,” told Michelle while waiting for the lift.

By means of metabolism, or perhaps oxidation in thermodynamic sense, breaking down a gram of fat yields approximately 38.9 kilojoules of energy. That’s the same amount of solar radiation received by one square metre of the Earth in roughly a little more than half a minute.

C16H32O2 + 23O2 → 16CO2 + 16H2O2     ∆G°' = -9.3 kcal/g

(Illustrated by palmitic acid, a common saturated fatty acid in Michelle’s arms and thighs)

By means of nuclear fission, or perhaps splitting atoms in nonsensical sense, if the total mass of a fissile element is equal to that of Michelle’s total body weight, you can a very happy nuclear explosive!

God help humanity! For Michelle is so fat i can’t but laugh like its a freaking marathon.

“I’m so tall,” told Michelle, looking at her heels, while waiting for the lift.

The elevator doors opened. 9 or 10 of us went in.

“Fresh, you know about evolution,” i came closer to her and whispered, “that we all came (evolved) from apes?”

“Yeah, i know.”

“I think Michelle right,” while pointing at her and she looked blank, “came (descended directly/mutated perhaps just a little bit) from dinosaurs.”

What a lovely friend i am! But Michelle sayang me, nonetheless. Kan kan?

*Pictures stolen and edited without permision from Amanda.

Soap

23 Feb

“Baby, i rasa kan,” while flipping through a Biochemistry text book (true geeks read textbooks for fun!) looking for ways to hydrolyze triacylglycerols with alkali, in other words — learning how to turn fat people into soaps, i had told, “our paths pernah crossed before. Betul Baby, i rasa.”

“Iya? Kat mana Baby?”

“Kat sini,” i held a deep breath to make my chest appear broader and bigger and tougher and with a finger, i crossed my heart and almost turned the moment into a soap opera. But of course, all i got afterwards, was incredible sex.

Kongsi gelap

17 Feb

I’m a chai wallah. Tumsapenehe Jamal Slumdogehe coca-cola.

Acha betha. Computer ghee lock answer Jamal cucu mata, acha betha.

Acha betha. Peletum peletum nahe nahe supramaniam tarian naga. Ayoyo!

Nahe yoyo! Mumbai ka, makan petai ka tetek tada besar. Peletum?

Jamal, peletum nahe?

Tarian naga betha? Acha.

Whatever it is, chinese he, india he, malay he, one malaysia, hepi niuyar.

Kongsi kongsi.

Paradise (II)

12 Feb

“Is it time to wake up?”

There was no answer.

“Is it time to wake up?!”

There, was still no answer, but music, sandwiches and teas.

Paradise

10 Feb

Mr.Malayaya.

I.

Mr. Malayayaya died — without thinking too much — he died on the first thought. He had never died before, and he wasn’t quite sure yet whether he had liked it. Most people when they died, they took some time to get used to death. Some of them didn’t take enough time and hated death too soon. Some of them did, and they waited until the ends of their funerals, — just to be safe –, before they could gather enough confidence to take a peep at the new world, after life.

The world after life, it had been rumoured by the living, had the answers to what life is. It had grapes and strawberries and high flames for those who rejected the gardens of grapes and strawberries. But Mr. Malayayaya wasn’t interested in all those nor was he interested in finding the answers to what life is. Mr. Malayayaya died for a special reason : he died on the first thought — not on the second after — because he stole a heart the colour of hope, and he was the only one who had ever seen the colour of hope, and he liked to keep it that way.

His friend, Ms. Jaguya, had heard the sound of hope and recorded it on a reel-to-reel tape deck, well accidently.

Ms. Jaguya died of an auto accident. A common death for a Nabiskan. But it was an unusual death for Mr. Malayayaya. He died without thinking too much.

“Is it time to wake up?”

Seekor kucing gemuk

7 Feb

Telah merasuk seorang lelaki separuh gemuk.

Dan lelaki itu menjadi gila.

Lala.

Islam dan Teori Evolusi.

6 Feb

Ironinya, saya bukan seorang muslim atau seorang yang beragama untuk menulis topik ini. Tetapi saya terpanggil untuk menjawab, dan mungkin agak sedikit terlambat.

Saya ditanya (didalam blog milik seorang gadis Malaysia yang belajar di luar negara) oleh rakannya;

“So by not believing in existence of God(Allah the Almighty), how did u explain the creation of the world rite now..Or may be u have the same idea with Charles Darwin..the theory of evolution.. Trust me the theory doesnt make sense..the idea about how human evolved from ape is unrealistic.. coz nowadays ape is still ape..y dont they evolve..even Darwin cant answer for sure.. that is y Theory of creation made more sense..and the creator, Allah the Almighty..:) Renung2 kn lah.. ”

Niat beliau, mungkin untuk menyedarkan saya (yang mungkin pada pandangan beliau, sudah jauh terpesong). Dan jika benar itu niat beliau, saya rasa, ia satu niat yang baik.

Mungkin beliau berniat baik, tapi persoalannya, apa yang perlu disedarkan? Bahawa teori evolusi itu bercanggah dengan agama Islam? Bahawa teori evolusi tidak realistik?

Sejak bila pula Islam yang dibawa Muhammad menyentuh teori evolusi dan sekaligus menyangkalnya? Dan sejak bila pula teori evolusi itu salah? Mutasi genetik tidak berlaku? DNA tidak wujud? RNA cuma bayangan saintis? Virus H1N1 hari ini sama sahaja genetiknya dengan virus influenza 400 ribu tahun dahulu? Tunggu, virus H1N1 tidak wujud?

Manusia bebas dari kecacatan dan mutasi genetik kerana kita dalahirkan di syurga dan bebas dari berevolusi?

Mari ke syurga dengan menolak sains biologi?

Islam yang dibawa Muhammad, cuma menyebut penciptaan manusia dari tanah liat. Tidak diceritakan dengan terperinci bagaimana prosesnya dari tanah itu jika ada di ambil atom karbonnya, dan dibentuk kompaun organik dari atom karbon tersebut bersama atom hidrogen dan atom hidrogen dari tanah. Tidak dicerita terperinci pemprosesan penciptaan manusia.

Tidak dicerita, tidak bermaksud Islam itu bertentangan dengan sains.

Tidak percaya tuhan, tidak bermaksud sewenang-wenangnya memilih sains.

Sains bukan pilihan kedua sesudah agama. Sains atau Agama? Agama atau Sains? Pilih satu sahaja! Agama dan sains, boleh diseiringkan, tidak perlu dipilih salah satu. Boleh beragama, boleh menjadi saintis. Boleh tidak beragama, dan tidak menjadi saintis.

Boleh tidak beragama atau beragama, dan mendalami ilmu agama, dan mendalami ilmu sains.

Sains itu penemuan ilmu. Agama itu bimbingan rohani, untuk mereka yang menerimanya. Kalau ada dalam Al-Quran diceritakan kejadian manusia, disini salah satu ayatnya;

Dan di antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaanNya (menghidupkan kamu semula), bahawa Ia menciptakan kamu dari tanah; setelah sempurna sahaja peringkat-peringkat kejadian kamu, kamu menjadi manusia yang hidup bertebaran di muka bumi.

- Ar-Ruum 30:20 (juga diceritakan dalam surah Al-Hajj 22:5, Al-Mu’minuun 23:12, As-Sajdah 32:7, Al-Rahmaan 55:14)

Semua ayat diatas mengatakan manusia (lembaga adam) dijadikan dari tanah liat. Jika saya jadikan topik ini untuk membincangkan kenapa tiada dokongan sains dalam penciptaan manusia dari tanah liat, secara jujurnya, sudah lama saya katakan secara saintifiknya, manusia datangnya bukan dari tanah liat. Secara saintifiknya, manusia datangnya dari proses evolusi sel tunggal ke sel pelbagai. Yang ini ada sokongan sainsnya. Bukan sedikit sokongannya, dari penemuan fosil ke penemuan penempatan, tulisan, penggunaan dan alatan, tamadun dan bahasa, dan segala yang dari yang purba ke yang moden, mendokong sains dan pensejarahan manusia.

Dokongan sains, adalah fakta yang boleh di uji dan diramal keputusannya. Boleh di ambil tulang ikan atau dinosaur atau primat di musium atau di dalam almari — jika ada –, dan diperiksa tarikh karbonnya dan di ulang prosesnya. Terus dan terang. Dokongan mereka yang beragama Islam, adalah iman. Duduknya di dalam rohani, amalannya, masih terus dan terang. Keputusannya, sukar diramal. Mungkin terus masuk ke syurga, mungkin disiksa dahulu di neraka.

Secara jujurnya, berterus terang saya katakan saya tidak beriman. Saya menolak kejadian manusia dari tanah liat. Saya menolak ajaran Islam yang dibawa Muhammad. Dalam Islam, setalah saya mati, saya terus ke neraka. Terus dan terang. Senang diramal. Dan disini bezanya;

Mereka yang beriman, percaya tanpa ada ragu sedikit pun, bahawa Allah itu maha pencipta dan maha mengetahui. Ia tahu apa yang tidak diketahui. Ia tahu bagimana untuk menjadikan manusia dari tanah liat, tanpa perlunya dokongan sains, ia mencipta tanpa perlu mengikut hukum fizik atau biologi atau kimia.

Allah tahu — apa yang Firdauz tidak tahu. Allah tahu, matinya saya nanti, di letak dimana. Letak dalam almari — jika ada –, bakar sampai berapi-api dalam neraka, letak dalam musium depan syurga, Allah tahu, menurut Islam, apa yang saya tidak tahu.

Tidak salah untuk beriman dan menerima sains biologi, evolusi terutamanya. Untuk mereka yang benar-benar beriman, tahu bahawa Islam tidak bercanggah dengan sains mahupun evolusi kerana Allah itu maha mengetahui. Di sini peluang untuk belajar sains tanpa perlu menolak Islam.

Jadi teorinya — setelah panjang bercerita — manusia datangnya dari beruk besar yang jalannya bongkok? Bukan dari tanah liat?

Mencabar, memang benar mencabar iman, bukan? Menolak sains biologi lebih mudah, bukan?

Believe what you want. But if you’re a true muslim, so what if you don’t have any scientific evidence to support the Quranic claims? To please an agnostic and a cynic like me? Don’t.

Mwah!

3 Feb

Anwar said, “Can I f— you?”

Mohd Saiful rejected.

Anwar then responded in an angry tone, “What?” and immediately directed him to go to the master bedroom.

Mohd Saiful went to the room. Shortly after, Anwar entered the room and went straight to the edge to close the curtain there.

Anwar went on to switch off the lights.

He then asked Mohd Saiful to clean up in the washroom.

Mohd Saiful removed his clothes, cleaned his body but did not have a shower. He took a towel from the washroom and used it. He hung his clothes on the knob of the closet, getting ready to, i dunno what?

Anwar stood at the edge of the bed.

(Come to papa?)

“He was clad in a towel and directed me to go to him and then hugged me while we were standing,” Mohd Saiful said.

Awwww…. they huged. So cute!

*source – The Star

Nails

2 Feb

Life was, so much easier, and so much merrier before she came too close to my screen.

Life was — like any drama queen would tell — depressing and not worth living when she found out about it.

“Why are you…reading about painting nails one?” asked Fresh whose Chinese name literally meant fresh. Her face looked puzzled.

“Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaha..” I laughed, i just had to. I wanted to kill myself didn’t i? Ofttimes, i’m confused between being suicidal and highly amused. My life was — before she found it about it — cloaked in melodrama and insanity. My life is, after she found out about it, still pretty much melodramatic and insane. Look at the way i write. Look at yourself. The eyeballs that follow each line and the lips that whisper every word i write, amuses me. “I want to know how they did it! I painted my nail but why not even one ah. How, how.”

I had painted my fingernail purple. And like every effeminate man would tell, it’s pretty. Prettier than yours.

(and like a girl, you’ll be jealous of it)

(losers!)

(sissy!)